emmahircine

Why are there so many different kinds of pasta? If I had a p..

Why are there so many different kinds of pasta? 

If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question. 

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A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of peo..

A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, “19! 19! 19! 19!” Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. 

Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting, “20! 20! 20!” 

Nurse: Bloiod type? Dad: Red. 

Nurse: Bloiod type? 

Dad: Red. 

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What do you call a magician who lost their magic? ian. 

What do you call a magician who lost their magic? 

ian. 

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I had a chip implanted in my body. It was a Cool Ranch Dorit..

I had a chip implanted in my body. 

It was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum! 

🕹 An archive of cum clips found on my old phone 🤭 (all abov..

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An archive of cum clips found on my old phone 🤭 (all above 1min)

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Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? 

He neverlands.

Don't forget I'm most active in DMs 🤭 I hope to see you in t..

Don't forget I'm most active in DMs 🤭 I hope to see you in there 💓

To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette throu..

To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. 

Sounds easy but the process is painstaking. 

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?Phillipe Floppe. 

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Phillipe Floppe. 

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve..

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?” 

“Pop,” goes the weasel. 

Today I gave my dead batteries away.They were free of charge..

Today I gave my dead batteries away.

They were free of charge.

What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want..

What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them?

NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! 

Why do ghosts love elevators?It lifts their spirits.

Why do ghosts love elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

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Santa's favourite side piece 🎅Santa's goth girlfriend has a ..

Santa's favourite side piece 🎅
Santa's goth girlfriend has a onlyfans 👀
That one girl with the band merch and the red hair ✨️

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What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?I don’t kno..

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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I don’t trust stairs.They’re always up to something.

I don’t trust stairs.

They’re always up to something.

Don't forget I'm most active in DMs 🤭 I hope to see you in t..

Don't forget I'm most active in DMs 🤭 I hope to see you in there 💓

Wife: “How do I look?”Husband: “With your eyes.”

Wife: “How do I look?”

Husband: “With your eyes.”

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?I don’t kno..

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

Why do bees have sticky hair?Because they use honey combs.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs.

Have you heard the rumour about butter?Never mind, I shouldn..

Have you heard the rumour about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.