A man walks into lawyer's office and asks, "How much for a consultation?" "Three questions for $150 bucks." "Kinda steep, isn't it?" "Yeah, now what's your last question."
2024-12-10 05:00:35 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis?"
I can't take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him. I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
2024-12-10 03:00:27 +0000 UTC View Post
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Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees.
2024-12-10 02:00:23 +0000 UTC View Post
My mate asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybeeeeeee.
2024-12-10 01:00:27 +0000 UTC View Post
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
“Robin, get in the car.”
2024-12-10 00:00:34 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt.
2024-12-09 23:00:38 +0000 UTC View Post
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad.
2024-12-09 22:00:30 +0000 UTC View Posthttps://onlyfans.com/1415682909/emmahircine
2024-12-09 21:16:10 +0000 UTC View Post
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
Never again.
2024-12-09 21:00:31 +0000 UTC View Post
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2024-12-09 20:17:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
2024-12-09 20:00:34 +0000 UTC View Posthttps://onlyfans.com/1413136216/emmahircine
2024-12-09 19:22:04 +0000 UTC View Post
I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I now live in constant fear.
2024-12-09 19:00:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?
Because crocodooladoo is a good family name.
2024-12-09 18:00:37 +0000 UTC View Post
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Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
2024-12-09 17:00:40 +0000 UTC View Post
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
2024-12-09 16:00:40 +0000 UTC View Post
My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it.
2024-12-09 15:00:40 +0000 UTC View Post
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Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly-sliced cabbage.
2024-12-09 14:00:40 +0000 UTC View Post
When you look really closely...
…all mirrors look like eyeballs
2024-12-09 13:00:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?
John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord.”
2024-12-09 12:00:48 +0000 UTC View Post
How do you talk to Italian ghosts?
With a Luigi board.
2024-12-09 11:00:51 +0000 UTC View Post
Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”
The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter.”
2024-12-09 10:00:48 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
2024-12-09 09:00:52 +0000 UTC View Post
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