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What’s E.T. short for?He’s only got little legs

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs

Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to th..

Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”

The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!”

What came first, the chicken or the egg?Safety. Safety alway..

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Safety. Safety always comes first. 

This is your captain speaking.AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUT..

This is your captain speaking.

AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

A coroner died.He stiill went to work

A coroner died.

He stiill went to work

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How do you get a squirrel to like you?Act like a nut.

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instru..

Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore.

I bought a dog from a locksmith.The second I got him in the ..

I bought a dog from a locksmith.

The second I got him in the house he made a bolt for the door.

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?Cheese Was.

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Was.

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Me waiting patientky for my take out order.

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What kind of dogs love car racing?Lap dogs.

What kind of dogs love car racing?

Lap dogs.

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Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?Librarian:..

Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?

Librarian: They’re right behind you! 

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Why do you tell actors to break a leg?Every play has a cast.

Why do you tell actors to break a leg?

Every play has a cast.

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?Cheese Was.

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Was.

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Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?Librarian:..

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Librarian: They’re right behind you!

Why do you tell actors to break a leg?Every play has a cast.

Why do you tell actors to break a leg?

Every play has a cast.

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Five guys walk into a bar.You think one of them would’ve see..

Five guys walk into a bar.

You think one of them would’ve seen it.

Who are caterpillars’ biggest enemies?Dogerpillars.

Who are caterpillars’ biggest enemies?

Dogerpillars.